SexXX

dropheartsnotbombs:

Okay, so as some of you may know, I identify myself as being a feminist. So that, already, may let you know where I’m going with this.

I recently watched an episode of “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding” for the first time and immediately was appalled. For those of you who haven’t seen the show, its about gypsy families marrying off their young daughters who are under 18 (usually 14 or 15). The episode I watched was of gypsy families in Atlanta. As very young girls, even before the girls have really hit puberty, they are garnished in provocative attire to “attract” boys.

The episode I saw feature two sisters competing against each other at a Halloween “coming out” party along with another girl who was 14. The girls wore short, tight dresses and the mothers and fathers expected them to “show a lot of skin” to find a mate. Additionally in this episode, there was another young woman whose father gave her absolutely no choice but to marry the man of HIS choosing. The girl was crying because he took no concept of love or even her opinion of the guy into consideration.

So I’m really conflicted as to how I feel about this. I was watching it with my mother and she told me it was “just their culture” but to me, that’s not particularly a justified reason. I mean, I think that sex trafficking is just part of “culture” but that doesn’t make it right. Or that “slut-shaming” is just part of OUR “culture.” Or slavery was part of the “culture” of early Americans. Or even Jehovah Witness preaching the word of God and “shoving it down people’s throats.” They think that its OKAY, but is it really?

The thing I’m concerned with is not how it effects the parents, but the daughters and the sons in this environment. It just seems degrading to both genders. For the young women, they are raised to believe they are property… mere objects. And young men are raised to think that women re objects as well, which, in turn could increase domestic violence and sexual assault.

But maybe I’m missing something?

I will HONESTLY say that I haven’t searched too deeply into the subject… I want to do more research before I really form an opinion, but I just want to express my initial reaction and see if anyone else has any contributing thoughts that I should consider?

Opinions and discussion on this are VERY welcomed! Feel free to write in my inbox or reply to this with your thoughts.

• Me: I'm ugly.
• Society: Have confidence, love yourself, you're beautiful!
• Me: I'm hot.
• Society: You self absorbed bitch, get the fuck over yourself.

So, once again, I’m VERY sorry that I haven’t been updating really (I know, I know… I feel awful, guys!).

This break has certainly pulled out my VERY lazy side (meh, the holidays do that to me).

I will definitely try to get something written up very soon!

But I really hope that you all have a very happy and safe holiday season with the ones you love! 

I appreciate the people who have been submitting topic ideas for me and I ask that you guys continue to do so!

I also am very thankful for all of you who keep up with my little blog! :)

You all are awesome!!!

Raven :)

Women Figures (generally)

(via noballsnancy)

With it being the oh, so lovely finals week, it’s been hard for me to really post.

BUT, I have two ideas for posts to hopefully come up by the end of this week/beginning of next week for you guys. 

1) Someone had mentioned that I talk about this, but I kind of already had this in mind: masturbation - the bedroom taboo.

and

2) Eating disorders. I’ve been seeing this a lot lately and I just want to talk about it in the most truthful form.

Meanwhile, keep sending your ideas on what I should talk about my way via my ask or submit box!

I would definitely love to hear your ideas!

And with winter break coming up, I’ll have all the time in the world to work on posts for you all! 

Well… kinda, anyway. :) haha

If you have any questions regarding sexuality, self-image, relationships or decision-making, be sure to send them my way via my ask or submit box! :)

Thanks! 

Raven :)

• Question: I know this guy. We're technically not dating but every time we're together it feels like we are. We even text each other silly little things and he remembers all the little details I tell him about me. We were getting really close to the point where we were hanging out almost every day. I even helped him with an unemployment letter. Lately though he hasn't responded to any of my texts or calls. I can't help but feeling like he just used me. Am I being paranoid or is it just a phase? - Anonymous
• Answer:

  Honestly, it’s hard to say if he likes you or not, but in my opinion, the best way to find out is simply by asking. I know that’s both the “duh” answer and the most HORRIBLE answer, but it’s very true. Often times, guys have this tendency to say things and not mean them one way or another. Also, though, there are times when guys will be more shy than they actually let on. 

  It doesn’t have to be a HUGE deal of a question or even anything really out there. Just casually ask him, “Hey, we hang out a lot and I think you’re really awesome (this part you don’t even have to include), but I really wanted to know what our relationship was to you?” Obviously, it isn’t going to go exactly like that, but you get the gist? 

  Just try to remain calm about it. From personal experience and from watching my guy friends, over-texting him or being to clingy may scare him. Not to discourage you! Just, maybe you could go a little bit without texting him and seeing if he comes to you. 

  This may be the worse advice ever, but I really do hope it helps! 

  I really hope for the best for you! :)

  Raven :)

girlgrowingsmall:

socialismartnature:

(Photo) “Breast-feeding in public is inappropriate”

I completely endorse the point that this is making. A friend of mine breast feeds her son in public, and honestly, it took some getting used to. Not because it was inappropriate, but it was just so unexpected. It’s rare to see a woman comfortable enough to do that now. But then you gotta realize: breastfeeding is perhaps the most natural form of food consumption we have left in this country. No one really eats the apple straight off the tree. Few actually eat the animals they hunt. We walk into McDonald’s and eat a pound of fried who-knows-what that’s been through 18 different processing plants. Yet somehow that’s more appropriate than a mother feeding her child with what nature intended him/her to be fed with. We have some serious distortions in this country, and it worries me.

THIS.

Society never fails to completely blow my mind at the double standards it makes about things. We make the most natural, basic human things to be the enemy from nudity to sex to breast-feeding. Yet, sexualizing and dehumanizing in advertisements such as those above is okay. Violence and weaponry is okay. It really just grates my nerves.

But yeah, I just wanted to mention my thoughts about this to you guys. 

Carry on. :)

(via lyssidork)

Hey guys!

The other day, I got a question pertaining to my thoughts on young marriage.

It’s something that I’ve noticed before the person asking about this mentioned it, but since I’ve graduated from high school it seems that so many people that I knew growing up are either getting married or are having children. Actually, more often than getting married are people having children, I’ve noticed.

So, I spent a LOT of time searching for relevant research material to this particular, topic, but honestly? I found little that would really pertain to this particular question. 

There is very rarely a correlation between getting married young and having children young. Actually, studies show that less than 8 percent of young couples who have children become married within a year of the birth of the child. And there are approximately 750,000 pregnancies amongst teenage girls each year. 

So I can’t put the two subjects together really. 

But I CAN help you to make healthy decisions as far as things to consider if you are thinking of becoming a young parent or debating on marrying in your late teen/early 20’s. :)

Thinking of Getting Married?

Society has this way of making marriage out to seem like it’s the BEST thing. I love the idea of weddings and getting married, but actually being married, is real, honest to God work. A couple has to be willing to sacrifice parts of themselves and their everyday lives to gain anything. There will be fights over things from housing to children to jobs. It’s very important to really look at all of the facts, first, because marriage is honestly, a lot more than a pretty wedding and a pretty ring.

Well, some of the pros to getting married, I’ve found, are a lot of the legal benefits.

Marriage consists of a whopping 1,138 legal rights attached to it. You can find a more complete list of these here by the United States General Accounting Office (GAO), but here are a few of the significant ones I found on here on Wikipedia (and keep in mind that when I say a legal marriage, I, sadly, am only referring to heterosexual marriages): 

• Income and Property Tax Deductions
• Joint Parenting Rights
• Inheritance Rights
• Joint Tax Filing
• Right to Enter a Prenuptial Agreement (Read more about that here)
• Funeral and Bereavement Leave
• Domestic Violence Protection Orders
• Veteran’s Disability
• Making Spousal Medical Decisions

Marriage isn’t a bad option if you feel that you have a truly great and healthy relationship with the person you are intending on marrying. Taking from Laci Green’s (oh, Laci Green, how I love you…) list for relationship “wins” which can be found here, a healthy relationship should include:

• Communication
• Respect
• Moderation
• Support
• And honestly enjoying each other’s company

There are some cons to getting married young including the fact that many marriages end in divorce for couples who marry young. Now this is in NO WAY to tell you that it’s impossible for couples to remain together, but currently, the divorce rates in the United States for couples between the ages of 20 and 24 is 36.6 percent for women and 38.8 percent for men. Surprisingly, though, for couples under the age of 20, the divorce rate is lower. But unsurprisingly, after the initial rise of the divorce rate for men and women aged 20 to 24, the rate drops as the age group increases. You can find out all of this information Divorce Rate, here. 

However, I believe that it is really important to think about a few things prior to the nuptials to make sure you are making the best decision possible. I think that couples who are considering getting married, at any age, actually, should honestly think about their answers to these few questions:

• Why are you getting married? Is it to make your relationship seem legit? Is it so that people will take your relationship seriously? 
• Are there any particular forces pushing the two of you to marry? Is family or religion pushing you two into this bond?
• Have you two spent enough time together to REALLY get to know each other and are prepared to deal with each other’s changes (because you guys WILL change) over time?
• Have you two had experience handling major problems together? Marriage often comes with hardships… anything from the housing you plan to live in, to financial falls, to children, can become a real, actual problem. Can you two talk through your problems and really understand that major problems WILL happen?
• And last, for the young couples, why is NOW the best time to get married? 

These aren’t hard and fast rules, but they are food for thought when you are considering getting married young. It’s important, like I’ve said, to really look at all of the angles to make a healthy decision for yourself. Don’t let anyone else make the decision for you… think about these questions as honestly as possible, and make your OWN decision.

Thinking of Becoming a Young Parent?

Well… see this particular question might be a little bit more of a challenge.

I think this one is almost purely opinion-based. There is no real “right” age, actually there is no “right” age to become married, either. But it is important to think about the pros and cons of becoming a parent young. 

From what I hear, being a parent can be very rewarding. Children become your entire life and they can be the hope we seek for the future generations. There is no real research to prove that, though. There is also the fact the, for the most part, your children will have young grandparents who will be around to help you raise the child.

I can’t currently find any particular statistics that prove this (but I did have a few the other day), but I will warn that it is very difficult to have a child and maintain receiving an education, if that is what you are pursuing. It’s very possible, but very difficult. There will be the issue of finding babysitters and working your class schedule so that you can really spend time with your child. There is also the fact that you may not be financially stable so young. There are a lot of organizations out there to help you, though, but it’s still a rough world raising a baby on little to no income. Some of those organizations are listed:

• LiveStrong - http://www.livestrong.com/article/296164-financial-help-for-parents/
• FAFSA will continue to help if you file that you have dependents - http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/
• WIC - http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/

But just like making the decision to marry young, it’s important to question your motives for having children young:

• Are you financially stable?
• Are you at a point in your education where you feel that having a child will not harm your educational process?
• Why do you want to have a child?
• Is this solely your decision as a couple, or are there outside forces involved?
• A child is a person you will have to spend the rest of your life with… are you ready for that?
• Are you ready to handle the child at all stages of their life?
• Are you emotionally ready?

So yeah, I really really hope all of that information helped you guys!

You all are awesome and I’ll write again soon! :D

Raven :)

Number one, for some reason the video I posted in the last post won’t show up on Tumblr dashboards, so if you do happen to want to check it out, go to the main page of the blog to see it. :)

Number two, this is something else that I found recently and although it is not surprising, I still found it interesting. H&M uses real model heads on computer-generated model bodies to model their clothing (and I’m sure they aren’t the only store who does this). I take this as them thinking that real women’s bodies aren’t perfect enough to model clothing for real women… 

What. The. Hell?

Well, you guys tell me your opinions on that, I’d love to see them!

Just wanted to share!

Raven :)